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Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.
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Old Gypsy Woman Run Over Without Consequence

CHICAGO—Area motorist Moe Balaczs is not showing any signs of weight loss, suppurating lesions, dementia, blindness, or any other grave maladies two weeks after maiming an 83-year-old Gypsy woman with his Ford Excursion. "I have to tell you, it's a relief to suffer no repercussions after dragging a wizened crone in a black babushka under my truck for a block and a half," said Balaczs, who did not report the accident in an effort to escape arcane retaliation. "I really thought I'd be vomiting scorpions and weeping centipedes by now." Balaczs added that, now that the old superstitions about curses and "evil eyes" have been proven to be wives' tales, he will not be concerned about running over old gypsy women in the future.

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