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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Olympian Has Always Dreamed About One Day Having Fun With Friends

SOCHI, RUSSIA—U.S. figure skater Polina Edmunds confirmed Tuesday that, even as a little girl forced to mold herself into a champion in hopes of someday achieving success on her sport’s highest stage, she has always dreamed of one day relaxing and having fun with her friends. “For as long as I can remember, I’ve only wanted one thing: to take off my skates and hang out with friends like a normal 15-year-old,” the Olympian told reporters during an uninterrupted 14-hour practice session. “Truly, ever since I was 20 months old and my parents put me on the ice and told me I wanted to be a figure skater, I’ve always pictured myself someday playing, watching TV, and goofing around with other girls my age, all without having to think about triple lutzes and constantly monitoring my weight. That would be so nice.” At press time, Edmunds’ trainer was ordering her to stop talking to reporters and perform 300 stag jumps.

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