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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Olympic Rifleman Freelancing On Firing Squad

ZIRAKPUR, INDIA—Abhinav Bindra, the gold medal winner of the 10-meter air rifle event at the Beijing Olympics, revealed Wednesday that he supplements his income by providing his marksmanship services to firing squads. "It's certainly not as challenging as Olympic-level shooting, but the money is good, you get to travel, and the hours are great," said Bindra, who received $5,000 from the Indian government last Thursday for executing a Pakistani man found guilty of smuggling drugs. "I'm grateful that I can earn a little extra money doing something I love. I just wish it was a little more steady.... If I could get five or six executions a month, I'd feel more at ease." Bindra said he relies heavily on the Internet to find freelance execution gigs from Saudi Arabia to Texas and recently used Craigslist to apply with a firing squad in Colombia that is hiring people to gun down cowards.

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