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Once Mighty Super Bowl Commercial Now Sad, Pathetic 'Price Is Right' Commercial

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Once Mighty Super Bowl Commercial Now Sad, Pathetic 'Price Is Right' Commercial

LOS ANGELES—Though it once stood proud as a majestic and much-celebrated Super Bowl ad—captivating an audience of millions with its sleek, seductive images and stunning production values—a television commercial for Doritos was reduced Wednesday to occupying a feeble 30-second slot between segments on The Price Is Right. "It's tragic to see an ad fall so far so fast," viewer Bob Crumbley said of the corn-chip spot, which just last month was beloved far and wide for its sly and good-natured humor, but has since become nothing more than a meddlesome obstruction to the Showcase Showdown. "What a humiliating way to go." The ad is scheduled to fall even further from grace next week, when a pathetically truncated 15-second version will air during a rerun of Judge Joe Brown.

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