Once Mighty Super Bowl Commercial Now Sad, Pathetic 'Price Is Right' Commercial

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Vol 46 Issue 09

Ball Movement Making Dirk Nowitzki Nauseous

DALLAS—During last Wednesday's game against the Phoenix Suns, Mavericks center Dirk Nowitzki reportedly told teammates that he "needed a sec" after a possession featuring quick-paced perimeter passing made him nauseous.

Autistic Child Ruins Marriage He Was Born To Save

HOUSTON—With the challenges accompanying his developmental disorder widening the already vast gulf between his parents, autistic child Evan Thomas, 3, continued this week to destroy the failing marriage he was brought into this world to save.

Soda Tax Suggested In California

California lawmaker Dean Florez has introduced a bill that would tax soda and other sugary drinks one cent for every teaspoon of caloric sweetener...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Once Mighty Super Bowl Commercial Now Sad, Pathetic 'Price Is Right' Commercial

LOS ANGELES—Though it once stood proud as a majestic and much-celebrated Super Bowl ad—captivating an audience of millions with its sleek, seductive images and stunning production values—a television commercial for Doritos was reduced Wednesday to occupying a feeble 30-second slot between segments on The Price Is Right. "It's tragic to see an ad fall so far so fast," viewer Bob Crumbley said of the corn-chip spot, which just last month was beloved far and wide for its sly and good-natured humor, but has since become nothing more than a meddlesome obstruction to the Showcase Showdown. "What a humiliating way to go." The ad is scheduled to fall even further from grace next week, when a pathetically truncated 15-second version will air during a rerun of Judge Joe Brown.

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