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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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One Last Ruben Studdard Reference Wafts Gently Into The Cool Evening Air

ST. PAUL, MN—Spoken in a hushed and honeyed tone, the name of American Idol 2 winner Ruben Studdard spilled forth from the lips of a local resident yesterday, and, briefly hanging sea and sky between, escaped suddenly into the eternal chill of the crisp autumn air. According to those present, gone, gone is the reference to the rotund songsmith, passing unencumbered through the shared human consciousness and disappearing into the ether, yet another name now lost to the ages, silently fading into shadows numberless, suckled by the night sky. And lo, eyewitnesses report, the reference has taken its place in the heavens, sealed forever in memory forgotten, never to be heard again.

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