Online-Dating Tips

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What It Costs To Host The Olympic Games

Boston announced this week it will pull its bid for the 2024 Olympics, due in part to the huge costs associated with the games that could become a taxpayer burden. Here is a breakdown of what the Olympics cost their host cities

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WASHINGTON—Easily securing the requisite two-thirds majorities in the House and Senate, a resolute United States Congress responded to the ongoing national debate on gun rights Tuesday by passing the Second Amendment again.

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A 50-year-old manuscript by the late Theodor Geisel, better known as Dr. Seuss, is being released this week, captivating nostalgic readers who grew up on seven decades of children’s books from the prolific author. Here are some highlights from Dr. Seuss’ life and work
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Online-Dating Tips

More people are using computers to find that special someone. Here are some tips to help make your online-dating experience safe and fun:

Man at computer


  • Under no circumstance should you give someone you meet online a lot of personal information. You could place yourself in the dangerous position of having a date who knows what a loser you are.
  • When considering the serious step of marriage, it's good form to seek the approval of the message-board moderator.
  • Online dating services provide an easy way for recently divorced singles to meet new and interesting people. It's too bad your ex-wife got to keep the computer.
  • When you write your online classified ad, be sure to make explicit the fact that a sense of humor is very important to you.
  • Set yourself apart by choosing a descriptive user-name like SocialRetard342, CuteFaceFatAss, or RohypnolLarry.
  • If you're having a hard time finding a decent, commitment-minded man through e-dating, why don't you try to e-shut the fuck up for once and stop your e-bitching.
  • Don't just tell women what they want to hear. Type it in all caps.
  • Remember, online dating is not for everyone—only the desperate and pathetic.
  • Dates like to know that they're appreciated. Go the extra mile and send that special someone an e-card or virtual flowers.
  • For best results, try whichever dating service happens to be advertised to the right or left of this chart.
  • If you decide to break up with your online mate, for God's sake, have the decency to do it over the phone.
  • If you're a man who prefers younger women, but you only seem to get responses from older women, take heart: Older women can give birth to younger women.
  • When getting together for the first time, arrange to meet online dates in an open, public place. That way, you can use binoculars to check them out from the car beforehand.
  • Don't worry. If you actually meet someone decent over the Internet, the two of you can tell people you met at a party.