Online Recap Of TV Show Attracts 25,000 Readers Who Have Given Up On Life

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Vol 48 Issue 11

Still Some Nutella Left In Jar, Reports Depression

TIGARD, OR—Citing the fact that having another spoonful or two wasn't going to make much of a difference at this point anyway, a crippling bout of clinical depression reported Tuesday there was definitely still some Nutella left in that jar. 

Children's Stair Injuries Down Nearly 12%

A study from Nationwide Children's Hospital in Columbus, OH reports that, while a child is hospitalized every six minutes with a stair-related injury, the number of incidences has fallen to 11.6 percent since 1999.

In Over Your Head

We're talking $1,310 a month for the next 30 years of your life—that's until 2042 and doesn't even begin to include property taxes.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Technology

Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Online Recap Of TV Show Attracts 25,000 Readers Who Have Given Up On Life

NEW YORK—The website TVFighter announced Friday that its weekly recap of the show Fringe had received a record-high 25,000 hits from readers who might as well be dead. "After each episode, I like to check the recap just to stay on top of everything, plus the message board is a great way to touch base with other fans," said 32-year old Mike Puleo, who, given his decision to read about a TV program immediately after watching it, has clearly lost his will to live. "I've made some pretty good friends that way. Sometimes me and another guy or two will be on there for hours, commenting back and forth about what's happening with the show. It's one of my favorite things on the Internet." While acknowledging the recaps occasionally contain "serious mistakes" and are not terribly well written, the man whose existence is devoid of any meaning or value of any kind said reading them was "still better than nothing."

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