adBlockCheck

Recent News

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
End Of Section
  • More News

Onlookers Gape As Daredevil Crosses Street Without Basic Health Insurance

CHICAGO—Shocked by his audacious and downright reckless behavior, dozens of pedestrians reportedly stopped abruptly in their tracks Thursday and watched in open-mouthed astonishment as 27-year-old daredevil Stephen Hughes attempted to cross a city street without the protection of basic health insurance. “My God, look at that maniac—he must be out of his mind,” said gaping onlooker Betsy Thompson, noting that without the guarantee of a fixed out-of-pocket maximum annual payment, Hughes’ wildly brazen stunt risked incurring medical expenses in the tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars that would be billed entirely to him. “He doesn’t even have a provision to cover the costs of generic prescription drugs, let alone rehabilitative services! If something goes wrong, who knows how deep into debt he could fall? To think this could've been avoided if he had just signed up for an affordable plan.” According to reports, after safely crossing the street the completely uninsured madman further stunned the crowd of onlookers by purchasing a double bacon cheeseburger with extra fries.

More from this section

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close