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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:
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Onlookers Gape As Daredevil Crosses Street Without Basic Health Insurance

CHICAGO—Shocked by his audacious and downright reckless behavior, dozens of pedestrians reportedly stopped abruptly in their tracks Thursday and watched in open-mouthed astonishment as 27-year-old daredevil Stephen Hughes attempted to cross a city street without the protection of basic health insurance. “My God, look at that maniac—he must be out of his mind,” said gaping onlooker Betsy Thompson, noting that without the guarantee of a fixed out-of-pocket maximum annual payment, Hughes’ wildly brazen stunt risked incurring medical expenses in the tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars that would be billed entirely to him. “He doesn’t even have a provision to cover the costs of generic prescription drugs, let alone rehabilitative services! If something goes wrong, who knows how deep into debt he could fall? To think this could've been avoided if he had just signed up for an affordable plan.” According to reports, after safely crossing the street the completely uninsured madman further stunned the crowd of onlookers by purchasing a double bacon cheeseburger with extra fries.

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