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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Technology

Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Spring

Only Remaining Rhyme Rapper Can Think Of Is 'Cliff Clavin'

ATLANTA—Rapper Young Jeezy, attempting to put the finishing touches on his latest single "U Know Da Club," has exhausted every rhyme possibility for his song's third verse with the exception of "Cliff Clavin," the fictional postal-worker character portrayed by actor John Ratzenberger on the long-running TV show Cheers. "I've already got 'dance-club maven,' 'hip-hop haven,' 'yes I been cravin',' 'ain't misbehavin',' 'pussy gonna cave in,' 'G's I been savin',' 'steel engravin',' and 'rantin' and ravin','" Young Jeezy said. "I guess I could use 'shock-wavin'' or 'clean shaven,' but they just don't make as much sense in context as 'just like Cliff Clavin.'" Jeezy is also struggling to complete a track called "Ideal Woman," since he cannot find a single rhyme for "Rhea Perlman."

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