adBlockCheck

Entertainment

What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 31, 2017

Aries: They say there’s nothing quite like the bond between a mother and her child, but then they have yet to see your experimental new adhesive compound. Taurus: The stars, in their infinite wisdom, recommend that you check yourself this week, as not doing so might lead you to wreck yourself in the future.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.
End Of Section
  • More News

Open-Minded Man Would Be Willing To Look Past Jennifer Lawrence’s Flaws

JOLIET, IL—Saying that he would be open to giving a relationship with the Oscar-winning actress Jennifer Lawrence a shot, local man Alex Robard, 31, told reporters Monday that despite any preconceptions he might have formed about the Hollywood star, he certainly considers himself broad-minded enough to try looking beyond her flaws. “Look, she’s not perfect, but neither am I, so all things considered, I’d be inclined to test it out and give the two of us a chance,” said the sales associate, who went on to add that, while he couldn’t make any guarantees, if he were to ever go on a date with the 23-year-old A-lister, he would make a concerted effort to resist forming snap judgments based on any potential faults, personal weaknesses, or off-putting personality traits that the celebrity might possess. “You have to be willing to accept people as they are. Yes, Jennifer’s a little loud, a little wacky and in-your-face, but I think, personally, I could get past that. Dating’s all about keeping an open mind.” Robard added that he hoped Lawrence wasn’t particularly religious, because that would, unfortunately, be a deal-breaker for him.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close