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Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Open-Minded Man Would Be Willing To Look Past Jennifer Lawrence’s Flaws

JOLIET, IL—Saying that he would be open to giving a relationship with the Oscar-winning actress Jennifer Lawrence a shot, local man Alex Robard, 31, told reporters Monday that despite any preconceptions he might have formed about the Hollywood star, he certainly considers himself broad-minded enough to try looking beyond her flaws. “Look, she’s not perfect, but neither am I, so all things considered, I’d be inclined to test it out and give the two of us a chance,” said the sales associate, who went on to add that, while he couldn’t make any guarantees, if he were to ever go on a date with the 23-year-old A-lister, he would make a concerted effort to resist forming snap judgments based on any potential faults, personal weaknesses, or off-putting personality traits that the celebrity might possess. “You have to be willing to accept people as they are. Yes, Jennifer’s a little loud, a little wacky and in-your-face, but I think, personally, I could get past that. Dating’s all about keeping an open mind.” Robard added that he hoped Lawrence wasn’t particularly religious, because that would, unfortunately, be a deal-breaker for him.

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