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Man With Strong Brand Loyalty Willing To Kill For Mazda

In a stern warning aimed at critics of Mazdas everywhere, area man Matthew Hunker, a longtime Mazda driver with two Mazdas in his garage at home, said Thursday his loyalty to the car manufacturer was so strong that he would be willing to kill in its name.

The Onion’s Fall TV Preview

Networks are just weeks away from debuting their Fall lineups, featuring both new shows and returning favorites. The Onion breaks down what to watch this Fall.

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.
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Opening Band Issues Two-More-Songs Warning

SAN FRANCISCO—In an announcement that met with sarcastic cheers, Nate Pilson, lead singer of opening act Dickbasket, issued a two-more-songs warning to a crowd waiting to see headline act The Colecovisions. "This next one's gonna be our next-to-last song," said Pilson, 25, prompting widespread stretching and watch-checking among the Bimbo's 365 Club crowd. "It's from our upcoming EP. Hope you like it." Pilson then energetically launched into the song, trying not to notice the throngs of concertgoers streaming toward the bar or resuming the conversations they were having before the warning.

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