adBlockCheck

Politics

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

What You Need To Know About The Dakota Access Pipeline

Construction is currently stalled on the Dakota Access Pipeline, which would connect North Dakota’s Bakken Shale development to oil tank farms in Illinois, by protests led by members of the Standing Rock Sioux tribe. The Onion provides answers to key questions about the project.

What Can Americans Expect Under A Trump Presidency?

With two months until the inauguration of Donald Trump, many Americans are wondering what his term will look like and what his administration might accomplish. The Onion answers some common questions about Trump’s upcoming presidency

James Comey Quickly Reopens Clinton Email Investigation For Few More Minutes

‘Nope, Looks Like It’s All Good Here,’ Says FBI Director

WASHINGTON—In a letter addressed to Congress that was quickly followed by a second message retracting the first, FBI director James Comey is said to have briefly reopened the investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails for several more minutes Friday.

Pollsters Admit They Underestimated Voters’ Adrenal Glands

WASHINGTON—In response to widespread criticism that they had failed to predict Donald Trump’s victory in the 2016 election, analysts from polling organizations around the nation admitted Thursday they had underestimated the influence of voters’ adrenal glands on the presidential race.
End Of Section
  • More News

Openly Drunk Senator Tillis' Campaign Promises

Senator Dave Tillis rode a wave of popular support last November to become the first openly drunk senator in U.S. history. More recently, Senator Tillis has seen his poll numbers sink as the public expresses frustration with broken, so-called drunken campaign promises. Below is a list of such promises pulled from Senator Tillis' speeches:

"I'm gonna fix the economy by giving everyone jobs. There is so much to do, everyone can get jobs helping to do it!" -- before autoworkers in Muncie, IN on Oct. 11, 2010

"I'm gonna make a law that if you want medicine or food or clothing because you're cold or anything like that then there will be a guy who will give it to you no questions asked. And if you can't pay him then you can just get him back later and he'd be cool with that. It'd be the law." -- at a Milwaukee, WI children’s hospital on Oct. 19, 2010

"In every town in America there's going to be a movie theater that just plays like good old movies, or actually you can vote for what movie you want to see and they'll show it and there are couches and they serve beer and stuff and it's just a good time, and it costs, it's free to go because it's just owned by this rich guy who just does it because he loves it." -- to city of Akron, OH on Oct. 21, 2010

"There will be a tram, or a lot of trams, that will take you anywhere for free, even your house or Vegas or your wife's house." -- On Meet The Press on Oct. 23, 2010

"We're not going to have any taxes anymore. Can you hear me? No taxes! And I'm gonna fix all the problems. How does that sound ladies? If you like it say "yeah." -- to the Women's Voting Caucus on Nov. 1, 2010

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close