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Opposing Team Terrified After Seeing Home Fans All Wearing Same Color T-Shirt

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Opposing Team Terrified After Seeing Home Fans All Wearing Same Color T-Shirt

OKLAHOMA CITY—Describing the atmosphere as the most daunting they have ever encountered, Clippers players expressed their utter terror and panic Tuesday night upon taking the floor against the Thunder and discovering every spectator in the arena wearing the same white T-shirt. “When I first saw that sea of white shirts out there, I just remember thinking, ‘Oh my God, what have we gotten ourselves into here?’” said Clippers center DeAndre Jordan, noting that he and his teammates were absolutely crippled with fear after realizing the T-shirts worn by the Oklahoma City fans were not only the same color, but also had the same “Thunder” logo printed on the front. “Then they all started chanting “De-fense! De-fense!” while we had the ball, and we just didn’t know what to do. We’ve played in hostile environments before, but that—I don’t ever want to face that again.” Following his team’s loss, Clippers head coach Doc Rivers admitted to reporters that his players simply couldn’t overcome the fans’ wild cheers when the phrase “Let’s Get Loud!” was displayed on the arena’s Jumbotron.

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