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Sports

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Opposing Team Terrified After Seeing Home Fans All Wearing Same Color T-Shirt

OKLAHOMA CITY—Describing the atmosphere as the most daunting they have ever encountered, Clippers players expressed their utter terror and panic Tuesday night upon taking the floor against the Thunder and discovering every spectator in the arena wearing the same white T-shirt. “When I first saw that sea of white shirts out there, I just remember thinking, ‘Oh my God, what have we gotten ourselves into here?’” said Clippers center DeAndre Jordan, noting that he and his teammates were absolutely crippled with fear after realizing the T-shirts worn by the Oklahoma City fans were not only the same color, but also had the same “Thunder” logo printed on the front. “Then they all started chanting “De-fense! De-fense!” while we had the ball, and we just didn’t know what to do. We’ve played in hostile environments before, but that—I don’t ever want to face that again.” Following his team’s loss, Clippers head coach Doc Rivers admitted to reporters that his players simply couldn’t overcome the fans’ wild cheers when the phrase “Let’s Get Loud!” was displayed on the arena’s Jumbotron.

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