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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Orioles Winning Streak Has O's Fans Worried About Rest Of League

BALTIMORE—As the Orioles completed a six-game winning streak last Sunday, several O’s fans expressed concern about the mental and physical health of every other Major League Baseball team. “For J.J. Hardy and Mark Reynolds to suddenly play so well, you know that means there has to be something seriously wrong with everyone else,” Orioles fan Elaine Dietz told reporters, adding that the team’s combined talent should never result in consecutive wins at any given time. “If the Orioles go on another streak like that, I would seriously consider ending the season immediately and testing every American League team for bacterial, viral, and autoimmune disorders. If whatever the league has contracted isn’t caught immediately, it could mean the end of baseball.” At press time, members of the Minnesota Twins, whom the Orioles swept in August, were experiencing fatigue, vomiting blood, and reporting painful skin pustules all over their bodies.

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