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Orioles Winning Streak Has O's Fans Worried About Rest Of League

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Orioles Winning Streak Has O's Fans Worried About Rest Of League

BALTIMORE—As the Orioles completed a six-game winning streak last Sunday, several O’s fans expressed concern about the mental and physical health of every other Major League Baseball team. “For J.J. Hardy and Mark Reynolds to suddenly play so well, you know that means there has to be something seriously wrong with everyone else,” Orioles fan Elaine Dietz told reporters, adding that the team’s combined talent should never result in consecutive wins at any given time. “If the Orioles go on another streak like that, I would seriously consider ending the season immediately and testing every American League team for bacterial, viral, and autoimmune disorders. If whatever the league has contracted isn’t caught immediately, it could mean the end of baseball.” At press time, members of the Minnesota Twins, whom the Orioles swept in August, were experiencing fatigue, vomiting blood, and reporting painful skin pustules all over their bodies.

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