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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Orlando Cabrera Hates Metrodome's Tuna Casserole Smell

MINNEAPOLIS—Recently acquired Twins shortstop Orlando Cabrera admitted Sunday that he is disgusted by the overpowering stench of tuna casserole in the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome. "Every time I enter the stadium the awful smell makes me sick to my stomach," said Cabrera, adding that he was unable to determine the source of the foul odor but suspected years of tuna casserole might be ground into the seats, the FieldTurf, and the fabric of the Metrodome itself. "Why does it always stink like rancid mayonnaise and fish? Now the smell's in my uniform, too. I can't wait to leave for our road games." Twins owner Jim Pohlad, who claimed he could not smell anything abnormal, has reportedly denied Cabrera's requests to air out the Metrodome by perforating the roof.

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