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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Oscar Pistorius Swears Bloody Cricket Bat From Different Murder

PRETORIA, SOUTH AFRICA—Facing allegations that he killed girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp during a dispute at his Pretoria mansion last week, track star Oscar Pistorius swore before a judge Monday that a bloodied cricket bat found on his property was in fact used in a completely different murder. “Honest to God, I never used that bat on Reeva—you have to believe me,” the double amputee said of the blood-soaked wooden paddle, claiming he had only ever used it in the 2011 slaying of a Johannesburg prostitute and “a handful” of cricket matches. “Seriously, I haven’t even seen that thing since I killed a hooker with it. To be honest, I forgot I still had it lying around.” According to sources, Pistorius went on to claim that Steenkamp’s skull was already caved in before he shot her four times.

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