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Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 31, 2017

Aries: They say there’s nothing quite like the bond between a mother and her child, but then they have yet to see your experimental new adhesive compound. Taurus: The stars, in their infinite wisdom, recommend that you check yourself this week, as not doing so might lead you to wreck yourself in the future.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:
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Oscars Create New Truman Capote Biopic Category

LOS ANGELES—The Academy Of Motion Picture Arts And Sciences announced today the introduction of a new Oscar category honoring the Truman Capote–themed feature film genre. "We are now able to honor excellence in the emerging field of Capote-inspired filmmaking," said Academy president Sid Ganis, referring to the new film Infamous, as well as such upcoming features as 20th Century Fox's Truman, Paramount's Truman Capote, Universal's Truman Capote, Jr., DreamWorks' animated Truman And The Big Black And White Ball, and Columbia's road picture Harper & Tru. Warner Bros.' Goin' Capote, scheduled for a Thanksgiving release, stars Oscar hopeful Jimmy Fallon in what many are calling his most understated role yet.

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Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

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