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OSN Globo-Poll: The Heat's New Rules

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The Onion Introduces: The Book Bjorn

Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book Of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information--such as the life stage...

How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
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OSN Globo-Poll: The Heat's New Rules

Now that the Heat can sign any player who signs a Friendship Contract and touches everything in Chris Bosh's "Gross Box" while blindfolded, who should they pursue in the offseason?

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