OSN's March Madness Dump Your Girlfriend Contest!

In This Section

Vol 47 Issue 10

How To Become An Internet Music Sensation

More and more, bands are recording, releasing, and promoting their music at home using their own computers. Here are some ways a burgeoning musician can make a splash on the Internet.

NHL Ref Likes It When He Gets To Jump Over Puck

CHICAGO—Fifteen-year veteran NHL official Michael Lussenhop confirmed in an interview Sunday that the most satisfying part of his job is when he's backed into a corner and has to grab the boards to leap over the puck to keep from interfering with th...

What Do U-Say About Mike Brant?

Messages of support for GOP candidate Mike Brant have been flooding our inbox. Here's a small sampling: "We don't need leaders who went to good schools or have experience in government or can name their own state's capitol. We need leaders like Mik...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Comedy

Healthy Eating

OSN's March Madness Dump Your Girlfriend Contest!

Want to party with OSN at the Final Four? Feeling ambivalent about your ladyfriend? Well get ready to humiliate two birds with one stone!

Grab your camcorder, Flip, camera phone or other video recording device, train it on your girlfriend and dump the chick in the most awful, creative, hilarious way you can muster. Dump her where you met, get her Dad to dump her for you, train her parrot to say "It's Over". Or go crazy and hire a skywriter, or get one of those rice-painters to write a heart-rending break-up note on a grain of rice. Whatever you do, dump her and make sure it looks awesome!

Check out these testimonials from some very satisfied Dumpers on how freeing losing their lady was:

  • Chris from Connecticut: "Best thing I ever did. She was always bothering me about wearing clean clothes and brushing my teeth and stuff. I've felt kind of greasy and I've gained some weight since I did it, but yeah. Cool."
  • Matt from Pennsylvania: "Had a great idea for dumping my gf: killed the flowers in her precious garden with lye in the shape of the letters 'See Ya Bitch'. So I did it and then she saw it and just cried and cried. It worked at least."
  • Sam from Washington: "While I was with Stacey I was really confident I could find someone better. So now I finally have my chance! It hasn't worked out yet but odds are I'll find someone else. I definitely miss her though."
  • Dan from California: "My first thought was 'what have I done?' Then I sent in the video of me hitting Sarah in the face with a pie and OSN sent me a T-shirt with the Dump Your Girlfriend logo and I was like 'oh.'"

Awesome! Remember, we're only giving away tickets to March Madness one at a time. Lose the baggage and head to Houston solo-style. You'll be glad you did.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More