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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Carson Wentz

After being selected second overall in the 2016 NFL Draft, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz opened the season with a nearly flawless performance in a victory over the Cleveland Browns. Is he any good?
End Of Section
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OSN's March Madness Dump Your Girlfriend Contest!

Want to party with OSN at the Final Four? Feeling ambivalent about your ladyfriend? Well get ready to humiliate two birds with one stone!

Grab your camcorder, Flip, camera phone or other video recording device, train it on your girlfriend and dump the chick in the most awful, creative, hilarious way you can muster. Dump her where you met, get her Dad to dump her for you, train her parrot to say "It's Over". Or go crazy and hire a skywriter, or get one of those rice-painters to write a heart-rending break-up note on a grain of rice. Whatever you do, dump her and make sure it looks awesome!

Check out these testimonials from some very satisfied Dumpers on how freeing losing their lady was:

  • Chris from Connecticut: "Best thing I ever did. She was always bothering me about wearing clean clothes and brushing my teeth and stuff. I've felt kind of greasy and I've gained some weight since I did it, but yeah. Cool."
  • Matt from Pennsylvania: "Had a great idea for dumping my gf: killed the flowers in her precious garden with lye in the shape of the letters 'See Ya Bitch'. So I did it and then she saw it and just cried and cried. It worked at least."
  • Sam from Washington: "While I was with Stacey I was really confident I could find someone better. So now I finally have my chance! It hasn't worked out yet but odds are I'll find someone else. I definitely miss her though."
  • Dan from California: "My first thought was 'what have I done?' Then I sent in the video of me hitting Sarah in the face with a pie and OSN sent me a T-shirt with the Dump Your Girlfriend logo and I was like 'oh.'"

Awesome! Remember, we're only giving away tickets to March Madness one at a time. Lose the baggage and head to Houston solo-style. You'll be glad you did.

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