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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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Out-Of-Control Group Yields Little Usable Data

ATLANTA—A study of the effects of antidepressants on sleep patterns was derailed this week when the experiment's out-of-control group—a sampling of participants selected for their violent tendencies and inability to follow simple instructions—grew restless and destroyed expensive brain-wave scanners crucial to the project. "Unfortunately, half the group didn't even show up, and the other half brought their friends with them," lead researcher Dr. Adrienne Gatspur said. "Later, we discovered they had broken into the medicine closet and loaded up on God-knows-what, so our results wouldn't be valid anyway, even if they hadn't torched all our data sheets. Sometimes I wish we didn't have to have an out-of-control group." At press time, the out-of-control group had broken out of the clinic and was roaming the streets of Atlanta, terrorizing tourists and looking for another medical study to join.

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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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