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Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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Out-Of-State License Plate Seen

SEYMOUR, IN—In a rare instance of roadway variety, a license plate from a far-away state was spotted on Maple Lane Tuesday. The exact state from which the vehicle originated was not known, as it was too far away for witnesses to make out the license's fine print. "I think it might have been from New York, because I think I saw that picture of the Statue of Liberty in the middle," said Milton Herkimer, who lives at 45 Maple Lane. "But maybe it was a pelican." Neighbor MarySue Petersen said she "thought it said 'California' across the top," but acknowledged that "I didn't have my reading glasses on at the time." Despite widely varying descriptions of the license plate, all agreed that it was "not from Indiana."

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Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

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