adBlockCheck

Recent News

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.
End Of Section
  • More News

Outdoor Movie Guest Excited To Watch Barely Audible ‘Back To The Future’ While Sitting On Tree Root

CHARLOTTE, NC—Thrilled at the prospect of having to constantly reposition himself while straining to hear the movie’s dialogue, local man Sam Weber was excited Friday to watch a barely audible outdoor screening of Back To The Future from atop a hard, knobby tree root, sources reported. “Oh, man, I can’t wait to tiptoe around hundreds of people’s blankets before realizing the only free spot is on some root that sticks a few inches out of the ground and which will dig into my flesh for two hours,” said Weber, adding that while he’d already seen the sci-fi comedy classic many times, he was looking forward to experiencing it faintly projected onto a canvas hung far off in the distance as moisture from the grass steadily soaks through his pants. “And if I’m lucky, I won’t be able to hear any of the movie’s famous lines at all over the group of teenagers joking and laughing at each other on the next blanket. Who knows—maybe it’ll rain!” Weber went on to admit that he couldn’t wait to enjoy the thrilling climax of the movie while simultaneously shivering and swatting away mosquitos.


WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close