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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Oversensitive Quarterback Reads Too Much Into Defense

OMAHA, NE—Nebraska State coaches said quarterback Joshua Adams was reading far too much into the positioning and schemes of the opposing defense Saturday, obsessing over what the secondary's coverage might imply about him as a player and a person and taking the play of the safeties in particular as a personal affront. "So are they showing signs of a blitz because they think I can't get rid of the ball fast enough, or because they think I can't handle pressure and scramble away from commitment at the first signs of trouble?" Adams was overheard asking his coaches. "Look, I know the tendencies of this defense, and the corners wouldn't be playing so far off if they thought I had any backbone. They obviously don't believe I have the inner strength to go deep. And you know what? Maybe they're right." According to the coaching staff, Adams is still overthinking their decision to bench him.

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