adBlockCheck

Recent News

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
End Of Section
  • More News

Overuse Of Enzyme-Based Cleaners May Be Causing Highly Resistant Superstains

CHICAGO—The American Association of Laundry Workers released a startling new report Thursday warning against the use of enzyme-based cleansers, alleging that, if abused, the products could create detergent-resistant "superstains."

"These cleaners might emulsify grease and red-wine stains better than most surfactant-based detergents, but they are only wiping out the weaker stains, while leaving the most leanser-resistant varieties of smudges to spread unchecked," read the report, which warned that many so-called "good" stains beneficial to shirts and pants were also being destroyed. "More and more fabrics are developing mutated, dangerously stubborn superstains impervious to even the most dynamic scrubbing action."

The AALW's report concluded by predicting that, unless drastic changes are made to reverse the flood of enzymes into local water supplies, irreparable damage could be done to the nation's whiter whites.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close