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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Overweight Man Repeatedly Introduced To Overweight Woman At Party

ALTOONA, PA—Over the course of a five-hour party Saturday, 315-pound Gene Cooper was introduced to 288-pound Cynthia Lerman nine times. "Once or twice an hour, someone would come over to tell me that there's someone at the party they think I'd really like," Cooper said. According to partygoers, Lerman is a real sweet gal, and she and Cooper would probably find they have a lot in common.

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