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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Packers Offensive Line Proves It Can Stop The Run

GREEN BAY, WI—The Green Bay Packers offensive line, which has been criticized this season for its combination of youth and lack of experience playing as a unit, is confident it made great strides despite Sunday night's home loss to the Cowboys, who held the Packer running backs to a mere 84 yards.

"As soon a hole opened up, one of us slid over to plug it. We were airtight," said center Jason Spitz, proudly noting that Ryan Grant and Brandon Jackson "didn't see daylight all night." "That's the kind of thing that really makes a difference in this game." Guard Daryn Colledge denied that the Packers' offensive line had become an elite unit, saying they had to work on stopping the passing game by getting their hands up to bat down passes and meet their preseason goal of sacking Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers at least five times per game.

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