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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Padraig Harrington On First Major Victory: 'That Was Boring'

CARNOUSTIE, SCOTLAND—During the post-tournament press conference following his victory in this year's British Open, Ireland's Padraig Harrington said the whole experience of winning his first major championship failed to excite him and was, in the end, "rather boring." "This is, after all, a slow and tedious game," said Harrington, who said his four-hole playoff with Sergio Garcia was merely "the same old thing with, thankfully, fewer holes." "Hit the ball hard, approach it again, and hit it somewhat more softly. Sometimes one strikes it rather harder than necessary, sometimes less. Still, it's a living, isn't it?" When asked if he would defend his British Open title next year, a disinterested Harrington responded, "Yes, yes, whatever."

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