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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Pakistani Boy, U.S. Drone Form Unlikely Friendship

MIRANSHAH, PAKISTAN—According to CIA officials and sources on the ground in the region, an unlikely friendship has developed between a 9-year-old Pakistani boy and a U.S. MQ-1 Predator drone in North Waziristan. “You’d think they would have nothing in common, and yet you see them together all the time, wandering around the countryside hand in wing,” area merchant Siraj Rahmad told reporters Friday, adding that local tribesmen generally took amusement in the duo’s improbable companionship, apart from the time the boy tried to hide the drone under his shirt and sneak it into his fourth-grade classroom. “Each day, when the boy goes to school, the drone slowly hovers over his house, waiting for him to come home. It’s adorable, really.” At press time, the inseparable drone and boy had run out to a nearby field to shoot at old cans, resulting in four civilian casualties.

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