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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.
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Panicked Agriculture Secretary Momentarily Forgets What Corn Is

WASHINGTON—While giving a speech Tuesday on the benefits of raising the ethanol level in gasoline to expand the lucrative biofuel industry, Secretary of Agriculture and former Iowa governor Tom Vilsack failed to remember what corn was for a harrowing 10 seconds. "In terms of profitability for our nation's growers, corn is…downright, uh, essential to…mostly all of us…farm-wise?" Vilsack said during his opening remarks to the National Grain and Feed Association. "Corn is, ah, agriculturally speaking, one of the best things Americans can make—or possibly drink—and it's obviously a thing I care a lot about personally, that's for sure." Witnesses said that, moments later, when Vilsack remembered what corn was, he overcompensated by asking everyone in attendance if they "like eating the North American cereal plant that yields large grains, or kernels, set in rows on a cob as much as [he does]."

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