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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Panicked Redskins Send Another Couple First-Round Picks To St. Louis Just To Make Sure

WASHINGTON—Mere days after sending the St. Louis Rams three first-round picks and a second-round selection in exchange for the second pick of the 2012 NFL Draft, the Washington Redskins took steps to ensure they would be able to sign Heisman Trophy–winning quarterback Robert Griffin III and sent the Rams another pair of first-round picks "just to be absolutely sure." "We have to take steps to protect the future of this organization," Redskins owner Daniel Snyder said Monday, adding that he would also consider throwing in tight end Chris Cooley, Washington’s best offensive player, and $1.4 million in cash if it helped to "make super sure" his team gets the pick. "And the way I see it, giving all our future draft picks away is the best long-term plan for the Redskins, especially since we don't have any money." As of press time, Rams officials said they had filed the paperwork to transfer the draft pick, but that having Redskins linebacker Brian Orakpo "couldn't hurt the process."

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