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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Panicked Studio Delays ‘Man Of Steel’ To Get More Shots Of People Looking Up In Awe

LOS ANGELES—Citing a dire need for additional reshoots, visibly panicked officials at Warner Bros. studios announced Wednesday that they had decided to delay the release of the upcoming Superman film Man Of Steel in order to get more footage of people looking up in wonder and awe. “At this time, we have alarmingly few shots of awestruck passersby looking up at the sky, squinting just a touch, and making an ‘I can’t believe what I’m seeing right now’ face, which means we have no choice but to delay Friday’s release indefinitely,” Warner Bros. president of distribution Dan Fellman told reporters, noting that filmmakers are currently rushing to finish a critical sequence in which a man in a business suit lifts his head skyward, exhibits a mesmerized expression on his face, and holds his hand to his forehead as Superman whizzes by. “We have a fair amount of scenes of fathers holding young children in their arms and pointing straight up, but even then, we’re going to need at least another six weeks of shooting in order to get more shots of cab drivers swiftly turning their heads and saying ‘Did you see that?’ or ‘Holy….!’” At press time, officials were reportedly relieved upon learning that filmmakers had completed the film’s final shot in which Superman flies straight into the camera, the screen turns black, and the credits roll.

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