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Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Panicked Studio Delays ‘Man Of Steel’ To Get More Shots Of People Looking Up In Awe

LOS ANGELES—Citing a dire need for additional reshoots, visibly panicked officials at Warner Bros. studios announced Wednesday that they had decided to delay the release of the upcoming Superman film Man Of Steel in order to get more footage of people looking up in wonder and awe. “At this time, we have alarmingly few shots of awestruck passersby looking up at the sky, squinting just a touch, and making an ‘I can’t believe what I’m seeing right now’ face, which means we have no choice but to delay Friday’s release indefinitely,” Warner Bros. president of distribution Dan Fellman told reporters, noting that filmmakers are currently rushing to finish a critical sequence in which a man in a business suit lifts his head skyward, exhibits a mesmerized expression on his face, and holds his hand to his forehead as Superman whizzes by. “We have a fair amount of scenes of fathers holding young children in their arms and pointing straight up, but even then, we’re going to need at least another six weeks of shooting in order to get more shots of cab drivers swiftly turning their heads and saying ‘Did you see that?’ or ‘Holy….!’” At press time, officials were reportedly relieved upon learning that filmmakers had completed the film’s final shot in which Superman flies straight into the camera, the screen turns black, and the credits roll.

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