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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Parents Don't Remember Enough Colors To Help With Kindergartner's Homework

BEDFORD, NY—Parents of 5-year-old Haylee Risser reportedly sat around their dinner table stumped Monday night, unable to recall enough colors to help their daughter with a homework assignment from her first day of kindergarten. "I definitely remember red and yellow, but when she started getting into that brown and green stuff, that's where I'm lost," said Deborah Risser, 36, who admitted that shoelaces and days of the week were always more her forte. "It's one of those things they drill into you in kindergarten, and then you never use it again. When the hell am I going to need to know purple, anyway?" At the suggestion of her increasingly frustrated husband, Risser picked up the phone to call her older brother, who sources confirmed is "great at colors."

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New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

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