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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Parents Seize Creative Control Of 3rd-Grade Art Project

PHILADELPHIA—Following a series of creative disputes, third-grade student Jeffrey Milner has been removed from day-to-day control of the “What I Want More Than Anything” assignment he is required to hand in during art class tomorrow, household sources confirmed Tuesday. “While we appreciate Jeffrey’s contributions to the project, his repeated rejections of outside input have unfortunately made it necessary for us to step in and institute some controls,” the 9-year-old’s mother, Bethany, said while sprinkling glitter on a freshly poured line of glue. “In the end, we felt that taking him off the project was the only way to salvage the hard work of everyone involved, including those of us who have funded this venture. He is, of course, a talented artist, and we hope to work with him again sometime in the future.” Jeffrey’s parents added that his name will still appear on the finished product and that his creative input will continue to be welcomed in a consulting capacity.

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