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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.

A Timeline Of Valentine’s Day History

Every February, people across the world engage in romantic traditions with their loved ones in celebration of Valentine’s Day. The Onion provides a timeline of the holiday’s inception and evolution:
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Partially Faded Hand Stamp Undermining Everything Prosecutor Says

DALLAS—Members of the jury convened for the case of Texas v. Guillermo admitted Friday they were distracted from the closing arguments of Dallas assistant district attorney Paul Hagsbury after noticing a faded bar stamp on the back of his left hand. “He was saying something about evidence definitively linking the defendant to drug trafficking, but every time he made a hand gesture, all I could do was look at that ink stamp,” said juror Margaret Sanders, adding that she could have sworn she saw Hagsbury idly brushing glitter out of his hair on his way into the court room. “The logo looks really familiar. It’s definitely from someplace I’ve been before. Maybe it’s Lucky Mabel’s? I think they have Mega Mug-a-Rita Night on Thursdays over there.” That afternoon, sequestered and attempting to reach a verdict, the jurors reportedly spent nearly an hour in deliberations over whether the prosecutor was in fact wearing the same suit he had on the day before.

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Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

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