adBlockCheck

Pat Riley Glares At 1988 Bottle Of Hair Gel As He Mulls Return To Coaching

Top Headlines

Sports

Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Pat Riley Glares At 1988 Bottle Of Hair Gel As He Mulls Return To Coaching

MIAMI—While toweling off in front of his vanity mirror Monday, Miami Heat team president Pat Riley stared longingly at a bottle of L'Oréal Studio Line hair gel from 1988, pondering the idea of firing Erik Spoelstra and returning to his position as head coach. "What do you say, old friend?" Riley said to the bottle as he squeezed a dollop of gel into his hand. "Have you got another 70 games in you?" As of press time, Riley was reportedly asking his comb if it still feels like a champion.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close