adBlockCheck

Sports

Area Man Unsure If He’s Male-Bonding Or Being Bullied

Perplexed local man Russell Chambliss has no idea if the coworkers seated with him at Malone’s Irish Tavern are attempting to forge a male bond with him or cruelly harassing him, the 26-year-old shipping clerk told reporters Wednesday evening.

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.
End Of Section
  • More News

Patrick Kane No Longer Able To Play With Blackhawks After Dad Gets New Job In Boise

CHICAGO—Just days before the Blackhawks' first-round playoff loss to the Vancouver Canucks Wednesday, star right winger Patrick Kane announced to a stunned locker room that his father had taken a new job in Boise, ID and that he was moving away with his family. "I'm really sorry to do this to you guys right before the playoffs. I tried to tell my dad that this is where all my friends are and everything, but he just wouldn't listen," said Kane, confirming he would not be allowed to stay behind in Chicago and live with either his grandmother or Blackhawks owner Rocky Wirtz. "Maybe they have a hockey team in Boise and we can play each other someday." Before Kane left, each member of the team gave him a tearful hug, took down his family's new telephone number, and made a point of glaring angrily at Kane's father as he drove his family out of the United Center parking lot.

More from this section

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close