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Patrick Willis

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Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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Patrick Willis

49ers Inside Linebacker

Strength: Considered a very good football player, which is expected to help at the Super Bowl; Inside linebacker position makes him privy to all the latest linebacking information before anyone else

Weakness: Always lets out a long sigh before going into pass coverage; Terrifies normally dauntless sports journalists

Training Regimen: Practices sacking Alex Smith every day during practice

Versatility: Able to cover running backs, tight ends, or wide receivers who are paralyzed with fear

Motivation: Getting the last laugh on everyone in high school he used to beat up

Typical Breakfast: Ten eggs, five pancakes, five gloves, poached half-helmet

Names He’ll Respond To: Patrick, Pat

Pet Peeve: Having to remove clumps of opponents from face mask

Eyes: Dead

NEXT: Aldon Smith

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