adBlockCheck

Patriots: 'Better A Diamond With A Flaw Than A Pebble Without'

Top Headlines

Sports

Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Patriots: 'Better A Diamond With A Flaw Than A Pebble Without'

PHOENIX—The self-reflective New England Patriots issued a brief but enlightening statement concerning their nearly perfect season Monday, claiming that it is better to be a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without, and that greatness is measured not in successes but in failures. "What is perfection without fault? Nothing. How can one be perfect without the knowledge and experience that comes with failure? One cannot," the statement read in part. "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. So basically, we won." The Patriots added that it is better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close