adBlockCheck

Paul Giamatti Lauded For Supporting Role In Area Murder

Top Headlines

Entertainment

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Lawn and Garden

Paul Giamatti Lauded For Supporting Role In Area Murder

ENCINO, CA—Actor Paul Giamatti, known for choosing risky and offbeat projects, has been generating buzz among law enforcers for his small but vital part in the murder of area convenience-store clerk Malcolm Mikita. "Even though it was another low-profile job and the big-names are getting more attention, Giamatti almost stole this robbery-homicide," film critic Joel Siegel said after watching surveillance footage of the crime. "He literally had his audience on the ground in tears." Siegel predicted that even Giamatti's harshest critics, including the LAPD and members of the victim's family, would be talking about the performance for years.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close