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Man Born With Face You Just Want To Punch

In case you missed last night's premiere of the second season of "Onion News Network", watch Jean Anne Whorton's touching portrait of a man who was born with a god-awful, hateful face.

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.
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Paul Ryan Cuts $120 Million In Wasteful Spending From Romney Campaign

WASHINGTON—Back on the campaign trail this weekend following the Republican National Convention, vice presidential nominee Paul Ryan recommended more than $120 million in cuts to what he called the "excessive, wasteful, and frankly irresponsible" amount of money being spent to elect Mitt Romney. "We're looking at upwards of $15,000 a day on hotel and restaurant expenses alone—there are any number things we need to just slash and hack here," Ryan told reporters Sunday, pointing to a bar graph outlining the budgets of the Romney campaign, the Republican Party, and various friendly super PACs. "This kind of runaway spending is unsustainable and has no place in our political system." Ryan added that while normally he is only in favor of austerity measures for the poor and middle class, Romney's election funding was simply ridiculous.

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Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

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