adBlockCheck

Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Pawlenty Supporters Can Only Dream What It Would Have Been Like If Candidate Dropped Out 2 Months Later

MINNEAPOLIS—Days after their candidate’s sudden withdrawal from the presidential race, dejected supporters of Republican Tim Pawlenty said Wednesday they could now only dream of what things might have been like if the former Minnesota governor had been able to drop out a couple months later. “Just imagine if he’d actually gotten the chance to be kicked around by pundits until October before collapsing under the weight of continually falling poll numbers and all but nonexistent support from donors,” said Natalie Van Druff, a volunteer who told reporters she was struggling to accept the fact that she wouldn’t be seeing Pawlenty end his campaign after a distant fourth-place finish in New Hampshire. “We put in so much work, and now we’ll never get to watch him limp along for another few months as a total also-ran. It’s just not fair.” Van Druff added that with Pawlenty out of the race, she would reluctantly support former Utah governor Jon Huntsman, who she said had the best chance of meekly bowing out by Thanksgiving.

More from this section

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close