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Sports

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Peja Stojakovic Fondly Recalls First Human Head He Played Basketball With

NEW ORLEANS—Hornets small forward Peja Stojakovic entertained his teammates Tuesday with his heartwarming tale of growing up in war-torn Croatia and waking up one Christmas morning to find a brand new regulation human head under the tree. "Of course my parents could not afford it, but I didn't know that, and I could not contain myself as I unwrapped the bow and immediately started scuffing up the face with sandpaper so I could get a better grip," said Stojakovic, recalling the pride he felt when he showed his father that he could grip the head with one hand. "I can still remember the sound that the head would make when it went through the coiled razor-wire net. My mother, she used to get angry because I was bouncing the head in the house all the time, but she always encouraged me to work on my head-handling skills." Stojakovic said that he eventually lost the old head—which by then had become discolored and lost most of its skin—when it landed in the yard of a neighbor who refused to give it back.

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