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Teacher Who Learns More From Her Students Than She Teaches Them Fired

Explaining that her statements indicated a failure to understand and implement the district’s goal of providing a comprehensive education to all children, Southwest High School officials reportedly fired ninth-grade history teacher Jennifer Steenman today after she was heard saying she learns more from her students than they do from her. Full article.

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.
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Pence Passing Time During Trump’s Speech By Mentally Baptizing Senators

WASHINGTON—In an effort to keep himself virtuously occupied during President Donald Trump’s speech to a joint session of Congress Tuesday night, Vice President Mike Pence was reportedly passing time by mentally baptizing all of the senators in attendance. “Do you desire to obtain eternal life in the church of God through your faith in Jesus Christ?” Pence imagined himself asking every senator in the chamber, contentedly working his way down the aisles to welcome each of the legislators into the fold by tipping their head into the cleansing waters of the Lord. “Upon your profession of faith and accordance with the Lord’s command, I baptize you, Senator Feinstein of California, in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. May His everlasting light be with you always. Let us pray.” At press time, Pence had reportedly begun mentally stoning all 435 fornicators in the House of Representatives as the president’s speech entered its second hour.

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Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.

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