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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Penn State Students Trying To Understand Why They're There Now

'For School?' Students Ask Selves

STATE COLLEGE, PA—In response to the unprecedented NCAA sanctions levied against Penn State for the Jerry Sandusky child-abuse scandal, the 45,000 students enrolled in the school began openly wondering Monday why they were still attending the university. "I came here because I love football, and all I want to do is go to games with my friends on Saturdays," said confused sophomore Matthew Spencer, 19, studying the specifics of the four-year postseason ban, $60 million fine, and 20 scholarship reductions imposed on the football program. "If football is out of the picture, why am I here right now? Is it to go to class? Is that what I'm here for? Do I even care about that?" As of press time, every single member of Penn State's student body was reportedly browsing the fall semester transfer policies of Ohio State, Alabama, LSU, and Oklahoma State.

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