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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Pennington Gay Pride Day - Schedule Of Events

8:00 AM: The Gay Pride Planning Committee (Mayor Sue Hallinan, Nurse Jill, Megan, Ashley Pottsdale, and the Trapper Twins) invites you to the Kroger parking lot to help decorate the gay floats and assemble balloon rainbows.

11:00 AM: Carl and Tim Seidell pick up guest of honor and local Pennington homosexual, Paul Webster, in pink limo rented from Huxton Quality Autos.

12:30 PM: Parade proceeds down Central Ave, ending in Captain Pennington Square.

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1:30 PM: Information and Health Fair at the VFW Hall. Get your pamphlets ready to teach Paul about the dangers of unprotected gay sex, crystal meth addiction, and workplace discrimination.

1:45 PM: Official announcement of the results of Paul's AIDS test with Nurse Jill. Cross your fingers!

3:00 PM: Pride Rally in Pennington Park with guest speakers Chuck Borden, whose college roommate was gay, and Kyla Wilson, who visited the West Village during her trip to New York last summer.

5:00 PM: Weenies 'n Buns and Erotic Art Show in the Pennington High gym. Come have a hot dog and look at some gay erotic art painted by local Penningtonians in their spare time this week.

8:00 PM: Gay the Night Away. The street will be closed off in front of Tuffy's Tavern so that all of Pennington can dance and celebrate Paul's gayness until the sun comes up. Doug Kranowicz will be playing all of Elton John's greatest hits on his keyboard. No word as of yet, whether Paul will be singing along with Doug as "George Michael" in "Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me."

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