WOODBURY, MN—Noting how the pair’s failure to promptly resolve the situation was a clear indication of their inability to raise or care for another human being, sources confirmed Friday that the parents of a crying infant must not be any good.
VIROQUA, WIThe staff of Viroqua Middle School credit seventh grader Ben Lohm's perfect attendance to his family, particularly his alcoholic father and mentally unstable mother. "Ben is always the first to arrive for school and the last to leave," principal Pete Thomas said. "His grades aren't stellar, but he's in a different after-school club every day of the week, and even though he flinches a bit too much for contact sports, he makes a great batboy." Thomas added: "Lohm's parents have pounded the importance of attendance and punctuality into all seven of their children."