adBlockCheck

Perkins Management Disappointed To See Daunte Culpepper Leave So Soon

Top Headlines

Sports

Study: 96% Of Pickup Games Decided By Next Score

PRINCETON, NJ—Noting that none of the game’s earlier events factored into the final outcome in any way whatsoever, a study released Wednesday by researchers at Princeton University revealed that 96 percent of all pickup games are decided by the next score.

Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Perkins Management Disappointed To See Daunte Culpepper Leave So Soon

ORLANDO, FL—Day manager Gary Campbell of the Perkins restaurant on Conroy Road thanked Daunte Culpepper for his tireless effort, leadership on and off the dining room floor, and dedication to service Tuesday, saying he was saddened to lose a server who had one of the greatest careers in the history of the franchise. "Every Sunday you could count on Daunte to efficiently deliver entrées or find an open table for customers in the face of an oncoming breakfast rush," said Campbell, who was shocked to hear the three-time Perkins employee of the month was retiring. "The fact that he was able to maintain a perfect 158.3 customer satisfaction rating despite working with inexperienced line cooks is incredible. We still believe he can perform at a high level, but respect his decision to walk away from the restaurant game on his own terms." With the departure of Culpepper, Campbell said Perkins would promote journeyman dishwasher-busboy Jeff George from the second shift.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close