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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Perkins Management Disappointed To See Daunte Culpepper Leave So Soon

ORLANDO, FL—Day manager Gary Campbell of the Perkins restaurant on Conroy Road thanked Daunte Culpepper for his tireless effort, leadership on and off the dining room floor, and dedication to service Tuesday, saying he was saddened to lose a server who had one of the greatest careers in the history of the franchise. "Every Sunday you could count on Daunte to efficiently deliver entrées or find an open table for customers in the face of an oncoming breakfast rush," said Campbell, who was shocked to hear the three-time Perkins employee of the month was retiring. "The fact that he was able to maintain a perfect 158.3 customer satisfaction rating despite working with inexperienced line cooks is incredible. We still believe he can perform at a high level, but respect his decision to walk away from the restaurant game on his own terms." With the departure of Culpepper, Campbell said Perkins would promote journeyman dishwasher-busboy Jeff George from the second shift.

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