Person One Season Ahead In TV Show Doling Out Counsel Like Wise Elder

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Vol 49 Issue 08

Daniel Craig Takes Home Pretty Good Actor Award

LOS ANGELES—As industry insiders had been predicting for weeks, Daniel Craig was a big winner at last night’s 85th Academy Awards ceremony after the 44-year-old actor took home the Pretty Good Actor Award, Hollywood’s highest achievement...

Are You Holding A Spoon Or A Fork?

FOOD 8 p.m. EST/7 p.m. CST Producers had to search high and low for some real idiots to make this show at all interesting, but boy did they find some.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Person One Season Ahead In TV Show Doling Out Counsel Like Wise Elder

PAWTUCKET, RI—Adopting the sagely demeanor of an all-knowing oracle, local man Jacob Rivard, 29, who is a season ahead of friends in his viewing of the television series Breaking Bad, is reportedly conferring advice about the show as if it were the sacred wisdom of ages. “Oh, you’re not to that part yet?” the august and enlightened elder said Monday, casting his clairvoyant eye to the future and cryptically alluding to what wonders lie there. “Well, just wait for the season-four finale. You have no idea. Everything is about to change, and Walt’s character will—no, I’m not going to say any more. You have to see it for yourself.” Sources indicated the learned man then grew reticent, responding to every question with an enigmatic smile and the words “You’ll find out soon enough.”

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