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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Person Who Clearly Hasn’t Seen ‘The Fifth Element’ Arguing There No Good Roles For Women

HOUSTON—Revealing her total ignorance of the 1997 science-fiction classic, local resident Erin Marshall, a corporate consultant who has clearly never seen the film The Fifth Element, reportedly complained Monday about Hollywood’s lack of good acting roles for women. “When it comes to big-budget movies, women are always forced to play either a one-dimensional heroine or a bland, forgettable love interest for a male protagonist,” said Marshall, who is doubtlessly unfamiliar with Milla Jovovich’s star-making turn as super-powered extraterrestrial humanoid Leeloo, a complex and compelling character exhibiting emotional vulnerability, extreme intelligence, and a wide range of martial arts talents. “There’s an unsettling scarcity of parts that celebrate and challenge the female actor, and it’s just really disappointing [that I’ve never seen the cinematic tour de force that is The Fifth Element, and still remain unaware of Jovovich learning an entire fictional language to prepare for the film].” At press time, Marshall’s argument that there are also no good roles for African-American actors was thoroughly disproved by Chris Tucker’s iconic portrayal of flamboyant talk show host Ruby Rhod.

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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

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