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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

The Onion’s Fall TV Preview

Networks are just weeks away from debuting their Fall lineups, featuring both new shows and returning favorites. The Onion breaks down what to watch this Fall.

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.
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Person Who Clearly Hasn’t Seen ‘The Fifth Element’ Arguing There No Good Roles For Women

HOUSTON—Revealing her total ignorance of the 1997 science-fiction classic, local resident Erin Marshall, a corporate consultant who has clearly never seen the film The Fifth Element, reportedly complained Monday about Hollywood’s lack of good acting roles for women. “When it comes to big-budget movies, women are always forced to play either a one-dimensional heroine or a bland, forgettable love interest for a male protagonist,” said Marshall, who is doubtlessly unfamiliar with Milla Jovovich’s star-making turn as super-powered extraterrestrial humanoid Leeloo, a complex and compelling character exhibiting emotional vulnerability, extreme intelligence, and a wide range of martial arts talents. “There’s an unsettling scarcity of parts that celebrate and challenge the female actor, and it’s just really disappointing [that I’ve never seen the cinematic tour de force that is The Fifth Element, and still remain unaware of Jovovich learning an entire fictional language to prepare for the film].” At press time, Marshall’s argument that there are also no good roles for African-American actors was thoroughly disproved by Chris Tucker’s iconic portrayal of flamboyant talk show host Ruby Rhod.

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