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The Pros And Cons Of Gene Editing

Recent advancements in gene editing have introduced a number of exciting possibilities for human advancement and raised difficult ethical questions. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of gene editing.

Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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Personal Assistant Called After Scary Dream

SEATTLE—The urgent 2 a.m. phone call placed by architect Clark Bennett to personal assistant Marcus Peck was prompted by an unusually frightening dream, Bennett said Tuesday. "It was like someone was pinning me down, sitting on my chest, and the air was being sucked out of my lungs," Bennett said. "When I awoke, I called [Peck] to come over and fix me some warm milk and make sure the doors were locked and sit up with me in my room and read a coffee-table book to me." Peck declined to comment on the details of the incident, although it is believed he counseled Bennett to just roll over and go back to sleep.

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